flamingoseye

I'm Ellie

matt-douchene:

do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it

(via itsagifnotagif)

So I was going through some of our old albums in the hopes of finding some cute baby pictures of me and this is what i fucking found

"Pls, mom, that cat is not fluffy enough”

"HE GON’ DROP ME, HE GON’ DROP ME"

"I’M GON’ DROP HER, I’M GON’ DROP HER"

"It’s just so perfect”

"Wtf kind of sponge is that"

And then there’s this one, where I am a fucking mandrake

  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*

autosage:

things to say if someone asks why you are so quiet

  • "i don’t have much to say"
  • (shrug with a smile)
  • "i like listening"
  • (with clenched teeth) “there are wasps in my mouth”

(via always-for-narnia)